"Mom, It's Not Mine"

When I answered the phone yesterday while I was working, that is what I heard... It was my youngest telling me that his girlfriend told him that the child she is carrying is not his.  I am cautiously optimistic that she is telling the truth.  I am cautiously optimistic that my child is getting his life back.

Life is good - I hope!!

Romance & Egypt

Who would have thought that watching Engineering an Empire: Egypt would be romantic?  Perhaps with just the right person, eve a show on the History Channel is romantic, soothing, relaxing...

Romance is coming back to my life... D and I spent a wonderful day together yesterday. As I watched this show about the country that is a must see on my bucket list, I saw possibilities and accomplishments against the odds.  And I thought about my life.  About all the possibilities that became accomplishments over time. 

I thought about the Egyptians.  About what they were able to accomplish through intelligence and pure force of will.  And I think about my life.  I'm intelligent and my force of will is strong.  Like Egypt, I am using my force of will and my intelligence to propel my life forward.   That includes allowing the romance back into my life and standing tall by my son.  It is another challenge for me to take on.  The difference is that I won't be taking on the challenge alone.

D is here to listen and to give advice that I need to hear, even though I don't want to hear it.  D is here to provide an arm to hold me up when I want to fall down.  D is here to remind me that I am a woman - one that he wants.  D is here... and I'm glad. 

I learned all this from that show... it's just amazing where God puts messages!

I have got to get to Egypt!  My boat awaits...

 Lady Bug

My Youngest Is Going To Be A Dad & I'm PETRIFIED

My youngest child told me last month that his girlfriend is pregnant.  I was shocked, mad, dismayed and most of all, worried.  I couldn't think about romance.  D was here but he couldn't console me.  He didn't know how.  He doesn't know how.

But today, without any prodding from me, early this morning he asked me to go for a walk.  Just us and the dogs.  It was really nice.  I felt like he wanted to be with me.  It was a good feeling.  I didn't feel so alone.

I'm still terrified for my youngest, but I don't fee so alone... finally.