It's been a while since I have written.  Lots has happened, but I've not ever found the words to relay my thoughts or my feelings.

D & I are still together.  Some days are really nice and other days, not so much.  After reflection I think much of my angst comes from how he deals with his employment situation - specifically how he deals with his lack of money.  I know that it won't always be the case, but it is the case now & I'm not sure how long I can hang in there.  So that's issue # 1.

Issue #2 is I think I am in a relationship with him, yet I don't think he feels the same way.  I think he would have no problem being with someone else and that bothers me to no end.  On his FB page he lists himself as single.  It bothers me - A LOT.  And no I haven't spoken with him about it yet - today is his birthday & I don't want to argue on his birthday. 

I am really good about most things, but this issue is one that really upsets me.  I think because of what happened between my ex-husband and me that I have a hard time with trust.  I know that I can not control anyone else but myself, I know that I can't make someone love me.  I know these things... I know that someone has to choose to love someone else.  I know this better than anyone...  And I think because I know these things that I am hyper - sensitive to any signs that I am not cared for.  I know these things, but I don't know what to do about it.  Should I just break up with D?  I don't know the answer to that question...