Wow, it's been a very long time since I wrote... I'm way beyond my weekly writing that I thought I would be doing last year. Lots has happened since July...
D& I have had good days & bad days. I have questioned why we are still in a relationship & been thankful that we are still in arelationship.
A little over a week ago I wasn't feeling well and went to the hospital. I had a TIA (mini-stroke). I stayed in the hospital for 5 days. I'm fine. And I'm reflective - more so than I was before I think.
To get sick gave me time to just think. And I've thought about a lot of things--- most of all, I thought about D & me & wondered where we are going...
D's life has been very difficult in the last 6 months and he has been unhappy & it was manifesting itsself in negative overdrive. Up until last week, I was handling his negativity, but since last week, I am increasingly resentful of his "my life is so bad, poor me" pity party. I feel like he is totally focused on his life, therefore, there is no room for me in his life. And I'm not feeling good about this...
Tonight we talk...
Silver Lining
11 years ago