My Character Is Growing

This scene in Act II is starting wonderfully.  At the end of the first Act, I was left on a 'high' that resulted in me not only being happy but in me eating less - hence weight loss!  And I am thankful for that benefit!  What woman doesn't like to see the scale go down?

Things are changing for me at the speed of life... Not too fast, not too slow.  I am living in the moment (for now) and not borrowing trouble (for now!).  My character seems to be growing.

Things are good between D and me.  I am having fun.  He makes me laugh, laugh out loud at stupid things.  He makes me think when he shares his view of the world - which is so different than mine.  He makes me question who I am & thus far I feel happy about the woman I've become.  The impatient person I was of years past, is still impatient, but I've learned to think more and speak less. 

Through this process I've wondered if once I found someone to share my life with if I would still want to do so.  Would I still 'only' want to be a wife and mother?  Would my dream change?  Would I still want to cook for someone, decorate with someone, talk about my kids with someone, would I dare share my dreams with someone?  Would I really be able to share me - the true me - with someone?  Not the accomplished professional woman "without a hair out of place" as my staff likes to say (LOL), not a smart, educated, 'strong' woman, not a woman who can get things done. 

The real me - the one who doesn't wear pants at work because they accentuate my butt - which needs no help getting attention!  The one who wonders if my job is going to be the next eliminated and hence, I worry.  The one who loves to learn but hasn't made time to return to college & worries that if my job does get eliminated that this will keep me from finding a comparable job because employers dismiss people without college degrees.  The woman who has so many papers on the floor of her office that I feel overwhelmed & am tempted to just throw them out, rather than read and organize them.   The woman who cried myself to sleep pining my 'ex' so much that my kids thought I had allergies (since I always woke up with blood shot, puffy eyes!).  The woman who although I've beat the odds of life financially & own a nice house - don't think it is complete because I have no one to share it with.  Luther's song, A House is Not a Home, describes how I felt 22 years ago & still today.

My dream of being a wife & a mother hasn't changed and I've began to find loves again --- things I enjoy doing,  not to accomplish anything, but to do something 'just because'.  I wonder if finding love is far away

My character continues to grow... I wonder about the future, but don't focus so much of my energies on it that I can't enjoy the present.

My character continues to grow... I am open to the idea that "opposites attract".  The chasm of difference between D and me are less important than is his ability to bring out the best in me. 

My character continues to grow... and I'm enjoying the journey.