My son's life is changing... Not sure if it is for the better or worse, but it's changing.  And I am all in "mommy worry" mode.  Not too interested in romance or pursuing love now.  Too busy worrying.

Official Site of We Are The World 25 For Haiti

I have posted this here so everyone can see how these folks are using the gift that God gave them to help many people they have never met.  A selfless act.  A random act of kindness.  I want to do more of that...
Widget « Official Site of We Are The World 25 For Haiti

Grocery Shopping Mindset & Adventure

When my kids were little, I used to spend endless hours in the grocery store.  It was an on-going adventure over the years and as the adventure changed my mindset changed.  I worried about this, that and the other & finally today I go worry free.

I worried that my little boy would be cold so I bundled him up as much as I could (even though it was September in Texas!)  Poor baby... I was such a crazy 'new mom'.

Some days I'd worried that someone would surely snatch one of my sons - since my 2 year old was constantly running off while I was tending to my new infant in the cart!

Some days I thought I'd never get the grocery cart through the store with all that stuff - food, baby food, pampers, formula, toys & Malta!

Some days I went in and bought very little, forgetting what I went in for because I was still in shock that our marriage was falling apart.

Some days I went in and worried that I would add the prices up in my head incorrectly (after all I was now caring for 3 babies by myself) and I'd be embarrassed once again - having to put something back - watching my little ones face frown as the thing to go back was what we needed least and what they wanted most.

Some days I worried that I'd forgotten my coupons & I went back home to get them because I wasn't going to be embarrassed again in a grocery store - EVER!

Then one day I went into the grocery store, no coupons needed (although I still had them with me) & all I could think was "there better be someone to bring these bags in when I get home"!

The next stage "who the heck eats so much!  These babies are eating machines!"

Finally (or so I thought) I came to the stage where I went into the store and bought single servings of this, that and the other.  I looked at a bag of potatoes and thought "that's a good deal, but they will go bad before I can eat all of those".  I looked at apples and tried a different new one each week - Honey-crisp are the best!

Now, during this portion of Act 2 of my life, I am back at the grocery store every week.  Buying fresh produce, good meat, whole wheat bread, olives, lactose free milk and Hershey's syrup - because I am feeding two, cooking for two.  And I pack the cart with food that is good for you (rather than the cheapest I can find).  I pay the bill & don't worry about the cost.  I might be annoyed at the prices, but I don't worry about them any more.  When I get home, I bring one bag in (the smallest I can find) & say "Hi".  As if on cue, he goes out and gets the rest of the bags from the car!  I go to change my clothes & by the time I get back downstairs the groceries are put away. 

Now I'm not sure how long this treat is going to last, (the truck will get fixed, he'll miss the solitude of his place and begin to dread the drive to see A).  But for now, we are playing house & I like his part in my grocery adventure.

Well, I'm off to the grocery store...I've got a list now, so I can remember the Hershey's Dark Chocolate Syrup!

Qualities to Admire

I read an article with these traits.  I admire these traits and would like to cultivate them in myself.  Perhaps I should add these to my New Year Resolution... better late than never!

Selflessness: In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common. People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give. Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special. While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite.


Tolerance: Those people who are tolerant make us feel comfortable with who we are and special as individuals. All of us are different, and many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies. After all, these differences make the world go round. Having the ability to accept people for who they are and not expect them to be who we want them to be is important in life, happiness and in the health of our relationships.

Genuineness: Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial. Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess. To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty…it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular…it means having the strength to tell it like it is and to not be afraid to face the consequences for doing so…it means loving people for who they really are…deep down…and not for what they appear to be.

Sensitivity: So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us. Those who are sensitive are often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected. Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful of how they impact others with what they do and say.

Integrity: Call me cynical, but I think this characteristic is especially difficult to find. In a time when people will do things that are underhanded to make an extra buck (Bernie Madoff…can you hear me?), expose their personal lives to the public so they can be famous (balloon boy’s dad and any other reality TV mongers) and do what feels good in the moment without necessarily thinking of the consequences (Tiger Woods), integrity is a characteristic that is especially unique today.

Humility: Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something extra special about them if they don’t come across as though they know it all the time. Humility in those that possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too.

I passed the test...

Well I think I passed the test.  I stared at the blue light and listened to the words of my brother playing over and over in my head.

And there is another light that is flashing in front of me, it is a blue light (Mother Mary blue for all you Catholics out there). The blue light says "Compassion. Remember when you were unemployed--- wouldn't it have been nice to have someone who was emotionally supportive? What happened to your empathy?"



On top of the lights I hear my brother saying "don't be so worried that you are going to be taken advantage of that you miss the blessing in front of you - (the blessing of being in the position to help someone).

D and I have continued to spend a lot of time together.  He was looking for steady work every day, I re-wrote his resume and he sent lots of copies out.  He worked when he was called - regardless of where he had to drive.  But, he was clearly down and frustrated by the situation.  I could hear it in his voice when we spoke on the phone; I could see it in his eyes when he was here.  

I tried my best to be encouraging & happy to see him.  I tried to focus on the blue light, to live in the moment and not get so crazed with fear that I could not enjoy our time together.  It was not easy.  I tried to remember every day that there is a good possibility that he will find a steady job & things will go back to how they were before.  I tried to remember that a day of uncertainty was just a day and not a year. 

I tried to be helpful without tearing his ego apart (the economy was definitely doing that!); so I cooked lots of food & sent it home with him.  "You have to take this, I don't need it..."  Eventually he would take it & I would think - well at least he doesn't have to spend too much money on food.  Ego intact.

So a few days ago, he received a call for an interview, went to the interview and received the job.  He was all smiles & I could finally stop holding my breath!  The pay is reasonable.  The only negative is that it is 45 minutes from me, but 2  1/2 hours from him.  So for now, he's going to be here long term - not "living" with me, (which scares me to no end), but just until he can save to find an apartment between the job and his son.

I feel like we can move forward, see where this is going.  I am wondering if he is the man I am destined to fall in love with in 2010?  I'm wondering if we both had to go through this little trial (yeah, now I can say 'little' - LOL) to see if we really cared for one another- if we could spend time together in difficult circumstances. 

I feel like I passed the test.

Whew!