I passed the test...

Well I think I passed the test.  I stared at the blue light and listened to the words of my brother playing over and over in my head.

And there is another light that is flashing in front of me, it is a blue light (Mother Mary blue for all you Catholics out there). The blue light says "Compassion. Remember when you were unemployed--- wouldn't it have been nice to have someone who was emotionally supportive? What happened to your empathy?"



On top of the lights I hear my brother saying "don't be so worried that you are going to be taken advantage of that you miss the blessing in front of you - (the blessing of being in the position to help someone).

D and I have continued to spend a lot of time together.  He was looking for steady work every day, I re-wrote his resume and he sent lots of copies out.  He worked when he was called - regardless of where he had to drive.  But, he was clearly down and frustrated by the situation.  I could hear it in his voice when we spoke on the phone; I could see it in his eyes when he was here.  

I tried my best to be encouraging & happy to see him.  I tried to focus on the blue light, to live in the moment and not get so crazed with fear that I could not enjoy our time together.  It was not easy.  I tried to remember every day that there is a good possibility that he will find a steady job & things will go back to how they were before.  I tried to remember that a day of uncertainty was just a day and not a year. 

I tried to be helpful without tearing his ego apart (the economy was definitely doing that!); so I cooked lots of food & sent it home with him.  "You have to take this, I don't need it..."  Eventually he would take it & I would think - well at least he doesn't have to spend too much money on food.  Ego intact.

So a few days ago, he received a call for an interview, went to the interview and received the job.  He was all smiles & I could finally stop holding my breath!  The pay is reasonable.  The only negative is that it is 45 minutes from me, but 2  1/2 hours from him.  So for now, he's going to be here long term - not "living" with me, (which scares me to no end), but just until he can save to find an apartment between the job and his son.

I feel like we can move forward, see where this is going.  I am wondering if he is the man I am destined to fall in love with in 2010?  I'm wondering if we both had to go through this little trial (yeah, now I can say 'little' - LOL) to see if we really cared for one another- if we could spend time together in difficult circumstances. 

I feel like I passed the test.

Whew!