Act 2 Is Closed

So today was a LONG day at work!  It was a short week--- and all short weeks are tough.  So by the end of the day, I was so ready to just relax.  D was off today & since we haven't been to the movies lately, we planned on going to the movies.  So off we went to see The Rise of  the Planet of the Apes (great movie, by the way!)

First we went to find somewhere to eat... we decided upon Ruby Tuesday's--- after Joe's Crab Shack told us there was a 45 minute wait!  He got hot, hot food!  I got crab cakes.  Funny... how we love to eat opposite foods.  It's kind of like us.  We are opposites.  Not that we don't have some things in common... but we are are more different than we are the same.  And perhaps that is the way it is supposed to be.

My Ring
Our New Beginning
January 6, 2012

Now, I sincerely hope that is the way it is supposed to be because tonight at Ruby Tuesday's over his platter of hot chicken wings and my crab cakes, he proposed & gave me a beautiful ring!

I'm engaged.
I'm girly.
I'm important!

This is going to be a great year!!!!!

Act 2 has come to a close!

Not only content... I'm Happy... I'm Important

And D & I are moving forward nicely together.  We live together in happy boredom most days - and some days we are have lots of excitement.  Quite frankly, I like the boredom!

Yesterday we were both commenting on how funny life is ... Neither of us thought we would find the love of our life with a person we found on Match.com! 

This is the life that I want.  It is the life I wanted.  It is the life I didn't think I would have again.  I am not only content, I am happy!  It's been a long time since I would have said that or wrote that comment about my life in general.  Oh yes, I've been happy about events in my life over the years... but the desire to have someone I am in love with & is in love with me has always pervaded my psyche.  And while I was unhappy for the longest time, eventually I did move to being content with my life.  I never dreamed that I would be happy again... not like this!  How odd life is...

I was made to be a homemaker... to be a wife & a mother.  And while I am not married, I feel like a 'wife' - and of course, I'm a "mom" (better than a "mother").   D is so protective of me & my health...             "You should lay down";
                          "Get off your feet"
                          "Don't lift that bag of dirt, I'll get it";
                          "Don't work all night... they are taking advantage of you";
                          "Be safe driving";
                          "Be careful - there is ice on the road" (I have NO CLUE where he saw ice!)
                          "Aren't you going to take your coat - it's ___ degrees outside" (he's in love with the  weather channel! LOL)
                         and lately... "I know you are going to be hot, so I'll just get some thermals to sleep in" (when he's thinking about my perpetual hot flashes!

I could go on and on...

While we are like most couples & have our ups and downs, he does treat me - most days - like I am important... Something that by the end of my marriage was gone... it was apparent to S that I was NOT important.  So the fact that D makes an effort to show me how important I am to him makes me feel warm all over. 

He has moved from doing only things where he feels comfortable, to doing things because they are important to me.  We went to J's aunt's for Thanksgiving & other than complaining a little about the food, he had a good time.  He fit in nicely.  He laughed & talked about football (THANK GOD FOR FOOTBALL!) and beamed with pride when folks talked about how good my candied sweet potatoes tasted! 

He's started talking about marriage... says he wants to marry me.  He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  I told him I wanted a ring (too tacky? - LOL).  Not because I want to show off (okay, maybe a little bit!).  But really, he is private to an almost secretive bent - and it does bother me.  I want him to shout to the rooftops that he loves me.  I want him to tell every friend on his face book page (LOL).  The insecurity inside of me, needs him to show the world that he loves me.  A ring on my finger would say "I love her & she is mine"...  Those 7 words represented by a ring would 'seal the deal' for me.

A ring isn't in the financial cards right now, but will be soon... We went to look at them a few weeks ago - at HIS urging, so I know he's thinking about it.

Yup, I'm HAPPY to be IMPORTANT to him!

I Love You

Those 3 little words have lifted my spirits.  I feel like a teenager again - without the teen girl angst, thank God LOL.

It has been a long time since those words were spoken to me by anyone who wasn't at least 19 years younger than me.

I wrote the words above in September 2010--- that was when D first told me that he loved me.  I was surprised.  I felt "luv" for him (the giggly kind), but I didn't know if I felt "Love" for him (the kind that takes my breath away).

As I write this, it is November of 2011, I can definitely say that I LOVE D.  Yes the LOVE that

takes my breath away

makes my blood boil

causes me to laugh at corny jokes

makes me feel comforted when I am uncomfortable

makes me feel sexy - even at a tight size 18

opens my eyes to see goodness where others see failure (as Donnie McClurkin would say "a saint is just a sinner who got up")

makes me worry about how my wants and needs effect his

makes me want him to achieve his greatest potential

makes me proud of the person that he is and the person I am when I'm with him

makes me care for him and all who he holds dear

the love that makes me want to spend my life with him...

So when he told me he wanted to marry me a few weeks ago - out of the blue - as I was sitting in my office working & looking like absolute crap,,, I started picking out rings in my head :-). 

This man --- this man that I met on Match.com.  This man --- that I categorized as a Mr. Right Now.  This man --- that warms my heart and soul, that makes me laugh and cry... This man... this is the man I will marry one day. 

Act 3 is starting soon (although I won't let it start without an engagement ring - call me 'girly').

The curtain is closing on Act 2.  All the niceties (other than the ring) of being engaged are here... and I am enjoying them.  It is so wonderful to be appreciated and to appreciate the live that I've been blessed with - trials and tribulations and all.

I'm excited to experience Act 3 - my final act! 

Things have been good lately... D has been working at a job that finally pays decent.  However, today he is telling me that he wants to go elsewhere because he thinks that the grass is greener.  I want stability.  I don't need him to make tons of money. 

He is so convinced that he is right about leaving that he doesn't listen.  My guess is that he has not listened in the past & this really worries me, because it shows he hasn't grown... And everyone has to grow.

When I try to caution him, he takes it as if I am not being supportive.. this of course aggravates the hell out of me!  That said, I do want to be supportive - but not supportive of stupid decisions...

We are a we.  Him making a decision like this by himself is not about "we", it is about "he".

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

This past weekend, D and I went to an amusement park and to a Cleopatra exhibit.  Since it is a ways from our home, we stayed over night. 

The weekend was a lot of fun.  We rode rides together, shared a funnel cake & bought those goofey pictures they sell - where we looked like we were terrified (and we were!).  We even went to Costco & got a membership.  I can't remember the last time we had so much fun.

So last night, I was looking for a diary to write down my thoughts and I found an old one - fro 2008.  It had entries about D and T.  I had fun reading through the old entries... I thought back then that D was a "Mr. Right Now".  What a difference 3 years makes!

Mr. Right Now has changed into Mr. Right...who knew...:-)  Polly Anna knew...She's so smart.