I'm in love...

I'm in love...not with anyone; but with a condition.  The condition is called marriage - or perhaps the condition is called living with someone.  It is quite simply sharing ones life with someone special.  In the very beginning, the feelings of happiness are the same, regardless of it's name. 

The beginning is the time you and your significant other (who is still, in your mind, your better half), start to spend weekends or a few vacation days together.  Such a situation happened to me recently.

D, the guy I have been seeing for quite some time, had a few days off and we spent those days together.  I did have to work the first day... but when I was finished with my day, he had dinner ready - and to my surprise, his cooking skills have improved significantly over the past 18 months!

The following days were spent walking together in the quiet of the park, going to the movies, out to dinner, playing games and talking & laughing endlessly into the night.  It was a wonderfully good time.

In a few days, it was time for him to leave.  We said our good byes, planned our next weekend together and I watched him drive away.  Back to my vuw.

Later that evening, I thought about the time we shared over those last fun days.  I already missed it - the fun of sharing my life with someone.  Rather than happily looking at my bed and thinking " Ah...I don't have to share it tonight"; I looked at my bed and thought sadly "Hmmm...I don't have to share it tonight".

So being me, the over analyzing woman that I am, I spent many hours analyzing my feelings for D... the man I usually say is lots of fun, but not Mr. Right.  I wondered if that was changing. 

Was I in love? 

Yes, I was in love, but this feeling was not new.  I wasn't in love with D.  I was - and am - in love with sharing my life with someone.  I'm in love with going to bed with and waking up besides someone every morning.  I'm in love with cooking for someone who likes to eat and apreciates food enough not to wolf it down (remember the 3 sons from my first post?).  I'm in love with someone watching me put on makeup & saying 'you don't need that'.  I'm in love with holding hands.  I'm in love with someone who pays attention to me.

Yes, I'm in love.  In love with sharing my life with someone.  I know that someone is out there, somewhere.  Hopefully he is close.  And if he is D, hopefully my eyes will be open soon.