Worst Dates of 2009

• Dinner at T's house - it consisted of a corned beef sandwich on rye bread (which I don't like) with mayo (which I don't like - I'm a Miracle Whip girl), a movie that I wasn't interested in & him telling me how satisfying his life is in his big house and all his gadgets!  I think the big house was compensating for something - LOL.

• The date where the guy really wanted an exhibit for his social studies project (kidding!).  But of the white men I dated, this one was just a little too interested in my blackness... He prodded me about everything from Malcolm X to MLK Jr, to my thoughts on Blacks in the Catholic Church, reconstruction, civil rights, what my experiences were with prejudice since moving from NY to OH... and the list went on and on.  He had lots of questions and apparently he thought I was going to answer them all - for ALL of Black America!

• Coffee at Panera Bread ... The coffee was the best thing about that date... He just knew he was God's gift - giving me examples of what a great guy he had been in the past with his dates.  I left wondering that if he was such a good date with the others, why was he meeting me?????

• Dinner after work with a man who obviously missed his children.  When I talked with pride about my boys, he reminded me that he doesn't have access to his children because of _______& missed them terribly - so much so that his eyes welled up and tears flowed.  I don't mean to sound like I have a double standard, but he was way too in touch with his feminine side - especially for a first date in a restaurant filled with people.

• Drinks with "The Christian".  He proceeded to tell me that I should only be dating if I knew I wanted marriage - otherwise I was being sinful!  Excuse me for being honest when asked if I wanted to marry again- I honestly told him I didn't know.  But at the end of that date, I knew one thing, if I did want to get married, it wouldn't be to him!

• The "childless father" expert - who told me that I should have re-married when my children were younger because they obviously needed a father & I was selfish for not ensuring they had a father in their life!   Mind you, this expert knew that they adored their dad - even though we didn't live together.   Now if I had raised drug addicted felons, maybe he would have had a point... But since I raised responsible, strong Catholic men who are self sufficient, love their dad, step-siblings and understand they have an obligation to leave a positive mark on the world, I really had a hard time with this one.  Oh, and did I mention, he did NOT have any children?

• The dinner with what I thought was my perfect match... my equal career wise & financially.  A connoisseur of the theatre, jazz and good food.  A lover of big cities and all they have to offer.  The problem - he had learned to not pay child support and was proud of it because he "didn't know what his ex was doing with that money"!  No matter that his 2 children would be going without because of his selfishness.  I had flashbacks of not receiving child support, trying to figure out how to keep the lights on--- all because my ex didn't know what I was going to do with 'all that money'.  Needless to say, I left that date and adjusted my perception of my 'perfect match'.

• Seeing "The Orphan" with D (yup, D).  He only went because I wanted to go & on our way to the truck, when I remarked how much I enjoyed the movie, he proceeded to tell me how silly the characters in the movie were.  The ride home was full of "What's wrong?" from him and "Nothing" from me.  Maybe that is the day we became a couple! LOL

No wonder I am happy to hang out with D on the sofa, take the dogs for walks and cook together; and I save seeing chick flicks for girl time with M or J!

All in all, though... this hasn't been a bad year.

Lady Bug